I will love you always…

I am an only child. Growing up was lonely. Very lonely. Yes, I had just a handful of cousins around my age, but they had no idea just how lonely I was.  I had a two parent household, but only felt love from one. That was hard, very hard.  And sometimes, it still hurts. 

So I made it a point that whenever I had children of my own, I would make it known to them just how much I love them. No amount of anger, disappointment, back-talking, hormone throwing, eye-cutting, mumbling under their breath could make me love them any less. From the day they were conceived, I thanked God for blessing me with my two angels. I was determined to break a generational curse… they were going to be my way of giving love – the love I felt I never received. 

As my daughter and son got older, so did our bond. Because for twelve years as a single mom, it was just the three of us. We did everything together. EVERYTHING! School events, sporting events, kids events … you name it. They both had extracurricular activities that required being two different places at once. I was literally going across town twice – once for drop offs, the other for pick ups. I had some difficult times raising them by myself, but God always managed to provide a way. 

My babies are grown now.  The things we used to do together are no longer; unless it’s planned. By my daughter working nights, and my son away in college, and I am two states away, getting together regularly is impossible. However when we do get together (like we did yesterday), my heart is overjoyed. I miss US!! 

When it’s time to go back to our own lives, that’s when hurt sets in.  The realization that we are going to be separated again hurts so, so bad. And the way my daughter held on to me last night made me feel like she would never see me again. We miss each other so much because we are so far away from each other.  My son, being the man he is, was trying to comfort both of us, but I knew deep down he felt the same way, too.

Now that I am newly married, I have another son that I get to raise as my own. Whenever he sees the love that is shared between me and my children, I pray that he knows he will get that same love from me. He is my child, too. 

If you have children, not only show them how much you love them with material things, tell them. Children need to hear and feel love from their parents.  In this case, words do speak louder than actions.

Until next time… be blessed. 

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