My ‘Ah-Haa’ Moment

I had an ‘AH-HAA’ moment today. It really wasn’t news. Just another observation that I already knew, but put in into the back of my head for safe keeping. Alot of times, the not so important stuff is in the forefront of my brain and the ‘other’ is nestled in the back until it’s time to really think about it {weird, I know}.

I was having a conversation with my husband about a new medication that was introduced to me. I personally am not one to want to take new medicines. Thinking about possible side effects makes me very anxious. So I wasn’t too particular about taking it anyway. I named some of the effects and – believe it or not – those effects were going to counteract the entire purpose of me taking it. For instance, it is supposed to make me less jittery. But a side effect could be nervousness or restlessness. Another example, it is supposed to control trouble sleeping. But a side effect could be trouble sleeping. (O_O) Seriously???

No only did the side effects turn me off, it also stated there was a low risk of addiction. To me, addiction is addiction… great or small. I am glad that we came upon an agreement to veto this proposal. So, I am back at square one. I’ll accept it for what it is and continue to do what I have been doing. I am too old to be a guinea pig by trying new things, hoping that they will work out.

Oh… my ‘AH-HAA’ moment? I forgot to mention. It hit me today that I will never be depression free. Don’t think of it as me talking negatively. I am being genuinely realistic. I have been in a depressive state on and off for the last 40 plus years. Sure, I have my good days. I’ve even had days where I am overwhelmed with joy. But I also know that there is no real cure for mental illness. I am taking steps to maintain a balanced life. But to be completely cured? It won’t happen. And that saddens me. I just thank God that I have my husband who supports me in every aspect of my life. God placed this man specifically in my life just for me. And for that, I am eternally grateful.

Until next time… be blessed.