But, I’m here…

Today is one of those days I just want to sleep … in a completely dark room … with nothing but silence. No TV, no radio, no sounds coming from the washing machine… just absolute stillness.

I woke up this morning seriously contemplating whether these bills really need to be paid. I don’t go shopping for myself anyway… so I don’t need clothes or shoes. Food … well I don’t need any (gaining a little weight). Gas for Jeep… I don’t need to ride anywhere. That settles it then! I could have just stayed in bed.

But, I’m here at work – physically. Mentally, I am still covered up in bed, trying to cover my eyes from the bright sunlight. Today would have been a perfect day to try my new weighted blanket my husband bought for me. It is supposed to relieve anxiety. At night, I have to have an extra covering to feel ‘secure’ so I know this will be just what I need to relax. But … I’m here.

I’m trying to smile through this day. But this headache and this feeling of ‘blah’ won’t let me. My mind is clouded. I forgot to refill my pill box so I didn’t take any of my morning meds. I hope my blood pressure isn’t up – however that could be why my head hurts. Which could lead to anxiety which WOULD make my blood pressure go up. 《sigh》 I can’t win today.

I’m already making plans for when I get home. I’ll shower then go to bed. I don’t want to eat. I don’t want to think. Just go to bed. Hopefully tomorrow, I will feel better than today.

Until next time … be blessed.

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