One of the definitions of the word strong is able to withstand great force or pressure. My daughter recently told me that she is the strong woman she is today because she has a strong mother. The truth is … I am not as indestructible as she thinks I am.
I promised God when or if I had children, I would do everything in my power to make sure they wont EVER have to wonder how much I love them. They will never feel worthless or they don’t matter. They will always succeed way beyond anyone’s expectations. They will always have me in their corner cheering them on. They will always know how beautiful/handsome they are. Why? Because they are EVERYTHING beyond that. And I wholeheartedly believe I (and God) have instilled in them that they will always matter. No matter what anyone says to them or make them think otherwise, they will believe what I taught them.
But by doing all of that, does it really make me ‘strong’? I am their Mother. I am supposed to teach them about life and lead them in the right direction. At a certain time, though, it us up to them which path they will ultimately take. But I don’t feel strong. In fact, whatever strength I managed to keep together, I gave it all to my children. In these last days, they need it more than I do. Even with my bonus son. I always stress to him the importance of education, doing his chores, a little ‘pep’ talk here and there… you know, Momma stuff. But somehow, somewhere, I lost MY ‘strong’.
Sometimes, I wonder does it even matter anymore. Age is slowly gaining speed. My thought processes are slowing down. And my tough skin has lost its elasticity. I’m weak. Much weaker than I have ever been. 😞 But I do thank my daughter for the compliment. Who knows? I might believe it one day.
Until next time … be blessed.