Sometimes… no, alot of times… my insecurities get the best of me. It’s not like I go searching for reasons to feel this way. Unfortunately, it already has a home embedded in the far back corner of my mind where I try to keep it hidden. But quite often, it makes an ugly appearance.
You know the old cliche, we are our own worst critics. Well, I believe that to be true. Sometimes I see more bad than good. Seems like the bad is always enhanced into more than what it really is. It gets to a point where it is believable (why wouldn’t it be true?). I try to shake this feeling but sometimes I start choking on my thoughts – suffocating and praying to be able to breathe. Other people don’t see what I see. They will never understand how much it hurts to be in bondage of your own mind.
Yet and still, I go on. Despite my inner battles with my thoughts, I manage to get up and put one foot in front of the other. I have have too many things to do and too many people depending on me. It is then that I try to encourage myself and change my thought process into something positive. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Right now, my negative thoughts are winning. With that being said, I’m go to bed so I won’t have to ‘think’ the rest of tonight.
Until next time… be blessed.
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