Everyone has thought about death at one time or another. Whether it’s the death of a loved one, a death of a celebrity or even one’s own death – it has been thought about. The question that turns in my head is which is worse – a sudden death or an expected death?
First… this post isn’t supposed to be morbid. I am just trying to realistically evaluate the ideas that are swarming around in my brain. I promise, it’s just a thought-provoking question.
In 1996, I encountered two deaths in my immediate family. My grandmother, who was my heart, died unexpectedly from a heart attack. She was all alone when the tragedy happened. I was told how that afternoon, she was talking and laughing with family members. There was no indication that anything was wrong. But by the time I went to see her, she was lying on the floor. Gone.
My father had been diagnosed with leukemia three years prior, going in and out of remission. Whenever it seemed the end was near, he always pulled through. This last time, though, it seemed like he wasn’t getting better – sleeping all of the time, requesting more pain meds – he just wasn’t himself. We knew it was inevitable, but I wasn’t ready. He had a granddaughter on the way – literally due in one week. But he didn’t make it. Gone.
Two deaths – one unexpected, one expected. Honestly, I can’t say which one hurt the worst? Two of the most significant people in my entire life were gone in the same year. And both just about shredded my heart into pieces.
There are millions of people who are diagnosed with different medical conditions where you know the outcome will be death. Whether you have years, months, days, hours – you know the end is near. There are millions of people who are murdered, killed in accidents, etc., and their life has ended unexpectedly. Their life was snatched away with no option to make decisions.
On a personal note, I have a mass growing inside of me that is followed closely by an oncologist. Does this frighten me? Of course! However, in the meantime, I choose to grab the bull by the horns and ride until it is time to get off (or thrown off). Today is the day to live like you could lose your life at any minute. If no one want to go on a trip with you, go solo. If you have a dream of owning a business but you have no support, do it anyway. Always do what is best for YOU! Sometimes, I fall short and forget how blessed I am to be alive. I get caught up in every day life as any other normal person would. However, I need to remember to stop the merry-go-round every once and awhile so I can stand still and get my balance back. With that being said, I am going to get ready for DATE NIGHT with my husband.
Until next time… be blessed.