I’m in my ‘peace spot’ again. (For those of you who don’t know what my ‘peace spot’ is, go visit my December 2018 blog.) Not feeling the best today. I’ve eaten and fed my guys, so I decided to slip away from everyone while they are consumed in Madden 2020 (or whatever they are doing).
Now I know how my son felt growing up with me and his sister… the only testosterone in the house. Currently, I am the measly, little estrogen girl surrounded by 3 alpha males. Well, at least I feel secure knowing I am safely surrounded by big guys. 🙂 When I was raising my kids alone, I was ‘SuperMom’, Ms. Fix-it, security officer … you name it, I was it! I honestly had no other choice but to “do it”! I am just thankful God gave me strength to endure during that time because now, Father Time is taking a toll on me. And he is not holding back. 😖
I already know a part of me is anxious because our son is going back to college next week. I have a feeling deep down in the pit of my stomach, the separation will be worse this time. Why? Because of the uncertainty of the world, I’m scared. Going to the store doesn’t guarantee a person will get to come home. Going to get an education does not guarantee my son will get to come back home for school breaks. The 45 (I will never say president) supporting rampage has gotten out of hand. People taking it upon themselves to kill for absolutely no reason other than hate. And yes… I am scared – for my husband, my sons, my daughter and myself. However, all I can do is pray and ask God to cover my family. Lord knows, I want to do more, but I can’t be everywhere for everyone. And I think that is what saddens me the most.
Some of you may think I am overreacting or overthinking… and you could be right. But that is how my mind works. It constantly thinks. Even I know I overthink. And I accept my faults (or blessing – depending on how I look at it). I’m sure I’ll be back to let you all know how it goes.
Until next time … be blessed.