Sometimes I wish …

Sometimes I wish …

… I knew why I feel the way I do. Empty. Drowning. Darkness. Loneliness.

… I knew why life feels so hard to bear, when in actuality it’s not.

… I knew why I cry so much – reasons no one will ever understand but me.

… I knew why I can’t sleep at night, but can sleep my mornings away. I want to get up, but can’t. I want to be normal.

… I knew why God believes I’m strong to withstand all obstacles when all I want to do is give up. Sometimes the cross I bear is too much.

… I knew why my babies had to grow up and leave the nest. I must be honest though – technically, I left them alone on their own. I miss them so much. 💔

… I knew why I failed at my “meaningful” expectations. I blame myself.

… I knew why growing older seems to be more of a hindrance than joyous.

… I knew why the depression and anxiety won’t go away.

… I wish I could feel … nothing. 🖤