My sleep pattern has been way off. Because of my depressive state, sometimes I find myself up until the wee hours of the morning. Then when it is time to wake up, I can’t. Waking up at 10 or 11 is ridiculous. However, considering what time I do go to sleep, I do get my 7-8 hours. {Shrughs}
This particular morning was one of those rare occasions that I had a dream. In it I saw my Grandmother, whom I lost in 1996, almost a month after I found out I was pregnant. Because if her sudden and unexpected death, I never got to say goodbye. It took me a long time to accept her demise. I was devastated. She was the only woman who loved me unconditionally. It was a few months later when I had a dream about her and told her in my dream that I was ‘scared’ because she left me. When I dropped to my knees and she hugged me – the weight of her death was lifted off of my shoulders immediately. I can’t explain it, but I promise it really felt real.
When I saw my Grandmother in my dream this morning, I couldn’t believe it. I cried. I missed her so much. She hugged me. And when she hugged me, it felt like she sat next to me on my bed. Knowing that this could not be true, I tried to wake myself up – BUT – I didn’t want to leave her. I just kept hugging her and once again, it felt like someone physical sat down next to my leg. I couldn’t help but weep because she gave me so much comfort to my mentally tired body. I cried, I hugged, I cried, I hugged and I didn’t want to let go. But my brain was telling the rest of me to WAKE UP.
Still groggy from what happened, my husband came in to check on me. I asked him if he came and sat on the bed while I was asleep.
No.
I told him about my dream. I told him that it felt like someone sat next to me on the bed. After all of these years, why now? Could my Grandmother’s spirit feel the heavy weight on my mind? Did she come to comfort me and to assure me that she is always with me? Whether or not that was the reason, I sure am glad that I saw her face and felt her hug again. Even if it was just a dream.
Until next time … be blessed.
Dreams like yours are comforting. I never felt unconditional love from my family of origin but I felt it from, yes like you, my grandmother who died when I was 12, and also the families of my closest friends. About a week ago I had a dream about my old best friends family. I was spending time with them and when I woke up I actually felt better because it was like I was really with them. 😊 💕
Yes, it is a very comforting feeling!! Yet, it made me miss her even more. 😓 If I do dream, I normally don’t remember when I wake up. But this one … 😊🥰🙏🏾