Dark clouds still come

I have completed my 2nd week of school. It was definitely an eye-opening experience. The hustle and bustle of checking each class, each day – several times a day – to make sure I didn’t overlook an assignment was stressful. But this is what I signed up for.

After two introduction posts, two quizzes, and a 300-word discussion topic, I am still maintaining an A in both classes. 12 more weeks to go. šŸ„“ But I must admit, it’s not as bad as I thought it would be. For me, taking online classes is not new. However, it is a new environment for me being enrolled at a University versus the two-year college that I previously attended. Adjusting to Canvas has been very easy to maneuver; especially with me being an old head. It takes a little more time to process. But so far, so good.

Meanwhile, in between time, I still have my days of sadness (and pain). Not all of my focus was on school. The dark clouds come back when I’m eating, taking a shower, or in bed (at 2 am writing this blog). I wish I could just flip a switch from on to off. However, it doesn’t work like that. This is the part that made me afraid to go back to school. I never know when depression will hit me hard. But I started anyway. And I am proud of myself for that.

I do know a trigger that I will have to be mindful of soon – my birthday. Why it is depressing for me? I still haven’t figured that out yet. Anyway, March will be a very busy month with my classes. But it just so happens that MY day is during Spring Break. There are no assignments due that week, so I need to start planning something to occupy my time. I won’t have any friends or family to spend my birthday with. Sadly, I’m used to it now. So it’ll be my husband and Rico. At the very least, Rico will follow me everywhere I go (he’s definitely a companion dog). But I refuse to stay home and be tearful all day. So I will plan something for spring break this weekend. Any suggestions?

Well, my eyes are finally getting heavy. I need to get up and take some Aleve for this back and bursitis pain. I am praying the pain will subside some before my Dr. appointment in two weeks. The joys (and blessings) of being almost 54.

Until next time … be blessed.

2 thoughts on “Dark clouds still come

  1. You are doing great Wendy with that A average! Way to go! As for how to spend your birthday do you have a Michaels craft store near you? Maybe work on a craft? Iā€™m thinking of trying some painting in the future. I have a friend who is our age and she is no longer on meds or in therapy and she has taken to drawing and will even have her works in an exhibit šŸ˜Š šŸ’•

    1. Wow! She is really good to be able to have her works on exhibits!!

      Yes, I love to walk around Michael’s. I did a little bit of crocheting during covid. Still have unfinished work to do. Maybe I can start doing that again while watching TV. Thank you!

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