I can’t do anything with dead flowers

You know the old cliché “give me my flowers while I’m alive”? You normally hear this after someone has passed away unexpectedly. A person may feel like they didn’t do enough or say enough when that person was alive. How many of you believe in that saying? I do. However, flowers (in a literal sense) are not what I desire.

I love flowers. I love roses, carnations, tulips, orchids … whatever is pleasing to the eye. It makes me feel a great sense of adoration of the beauty it beholds. The kind of adoration that makes you want to stare at them all day. But there is one thing that diminishes my love for them. They die. They don’t last forever. How can I hold on to them for the remainder of my life? I can’t.

I told my husband a while ago, “Don’t give me flowers.” As beautiful as they are, they don’t last. I am sentiment. A little too sentimental at times. However, he still gets them from time to time. 🙂 Instead, give me your words of adoration. Tell me how much you love and appreciate me. That means more to me than anything you can purchase with money. When my children were much younger, they would ask their father if they could have some money so they could buy a card for me for Mother’s Day or my birthday. He would never do it. They would be so disappointed and sometimes cried. So my daughter would get her little brother and they would make their own cards for me. In it, they would express just how much they loved and appreciated me. 🥹 No amount of money in the world could ever compare to the worth of the words that they wrote for me on a piece of construction paper.

Let me tell you how I feel about giving me my ‘flowers’. Tell me how much you appreciated the things I have done for you. Tell me how much my words of encouragement helped you through a tough time (even though, at the time, I was having my own suicidal thoughts). Tell me how much you are proud of my big and small accomplishments. Ask me how you could support me through my journey? Ask me if there is anything you could help me with for future projects?

I spent the majority of my life feeling unappreciated, disrespected, used, unworthy, and unloved by everyone, except my children. I felt this way by the people whom I cared for the most. And over time, it’s gotten worse. God has blessed me to accomplish a few great things that I personally am proud of. However, out of all of the people I expected to give me true, unconditionally support, I can only count on maybe two hands, who was really there. I’ve lived in SC for 49 years and I only got 10 fingers? Hummm? I truly and wholeheartedly appreciate them. And I have made it a point to let them know how much I do appreciate them. Outside of SC, though, one of my biggest supporters has never met me a day in her life. Another one has since passed away. I will say that although I haven’t lived in AL long, the support I have received is immeasurable. Thank you.

This isn’t a “woe is me” bitch session. It just needed to be said. I don’t need anyone to ask anything of me now that I have stepped off of my cardboard soapbox. It is what it is. I said what I said. I know that not everyone is going to be happy about my accomplishments. I know that not everyone is going to be supportive of my journey. Just remember, when that time does come for me to leave this earthly place, don’t flood my timeline with ‘flowers’. If you truly cared, you would say so while I am still alive to embrace it. I can’t do anything with dead flowers once I’m gone.

Until next time … be blessed.