It amazes me sometimes how just one person can destroy one’s self-image, self-esteem, self-worth … all with words and/or actions. It makes me question myself … am I truly worth it? Seriously. Am I really?
I am not as strong as people perceive me to be. I have to be pretty vulnerable and transparent to even admit this. I have been questioning myself about what have I done wrong to deserve this? However, I can never put myself out of the equation because, just maybe, I’m part of the problem. I would never be naïve to think my own actions may not be the cause. It would be narcissistic of me to think otherwise.
Whatever the case maybe, I am destroyed. Broken. Shattered. Discouraged. All I can do is pick up the pieces and mend each piece one by one. It’ll take some time to fix my heart completely. It’s been done before. I have to believe it can be done again.
Spring finals just ended with 2 As, so far. I am proud for getting through this first semester as a senior. Believe it or not, I am looking forward to summer classes, so I won’t have to think about what’s going on INSIDE OF ME (get it? Name of my first book!). Anyway, as the old saying goes, “an idle mind is the devil’s workshop.” I can assure you that this statement is true. Negativity in your mind can spread like wildfire. It’s up to you to contain it and control it.
It’s hard, but I’m doing my best. It helps to see/hear women on social media who lifts up other women to inspire to be a better YOU. And that’s exactly what I need right now … encouragement and uplifting. It’s hard when depression sets in. Again, I’m trying. Really, I am!
Until next time … be blessed.