Survivor’s Remorse

I caught covid after an anniversary cruise last month. After I beat the odds by having mild symptoms, I felt bad in a sense. Let me explain.

In 2020, when you heard of covid, you automatically thought ‘death sentence’. Or at least I did. So many people passed away from this horrible virus. No cure in sight. Just agonizing pain and imminent death.

Can I be transparent? I was deathly afraid of catching covid. To ‘prevent’ the possibility of getting it, I got the shot and two boosters. But then, two years later, I caught it.

When I saw the positive result on the home kit, I wasn’t surprised. It didn’t even scare me. I was on a ship with over 3k people. It was almost expected. However, I only developed mild symptoms. My fever never went over 102°. I never coughed. I never had chest pains. I was blessed.

Then, the questioning began. Is this the quiet before the storm? What horrible thing is going to happen next? What happened? Nothing! The fever subsided. The bodyaches subsided. I ate a little (still didn’t lose weight, tho 🤔). I came back as if nothing had happened.

I survived this virus. I do admit, I believe I have the ‘covid fog’. Yet, I am thankful. But why was I so fortunate to be able to live through it? Was it because of the covid shots or was it because of my beliefs? I got into the “Why me?” notion that I didn’t deserve to be here when so many other people died.

I know… sounds illogical. Maybe even a little idiotic. But it’s my thoughts. I believe that God kept me here for a purpose. My work is not done. I have too many things I need to give to the world before my time does come. Lord, I thank you!

Until next time … be blessed.