Sometimes I wish …

Sometimes I wish ... ... I knew why I feel the way I do. Empty. Drowning. Darkness. Loneliness. ... I knew why life feels so hard to bear, when in actuality it's not. ... I knew why I cry so much - reasons no one will ever understand but me. ... I knew why I … Continue reading Sometimes I wish …

Is it wrong to expect Doctors to be perfect?

Here in the US, there was a TV show call Medical Mysteries that I use to watch religiously. Being the medical science nerd that I am, I always found these shows fascinating. Not because of the person's ailments, but because of the years it would take to finally give a proper diagnosis after all of … Continue reading Is it wrong to expect Doctors to be perfect?

The guilt I feel

As I lie here waiting for sleep to fall upon me, I was suddenly overcome with guilt. Guilt for past things I have done. Guilt because I feel I should have done more. Guilt because I don't think I will be able to do enough. My mind is just riddled with overthinking. And I'm so … Continue reading The guilt I feel

What will tomorrow bring?

Now, more than ever, is the time to focus on life. Because it seems life is leaving this earth in record proportions. The number of children with Covid is mind-boggling. And there are NO leaders responding quickly enough to help. Such a discouraging thing to know that lives are lost because of ignorance. When I … Continue reading What will tomorrow bring?

What does my depression feel like? (Part II)

I was in the house all day - for the most part in the dark. I didn't know it had rained. I never even bothered to look out of any windows. Somehow, I felt comfortable in the gloom of the day. It felt 'right'. If it had been sunny and bright, I would have felt … Continue reading What does my depression feel like? (Part II)

What does my depression feel like?

Someone recently asked me what does depression feel like? The person who asked me caught me off guard. Not because of the question itself, but because of who it was that asked me. I suppose in a way, it was the right time to ask because my world was in already in a dark place. … Continue reading What does my depression feel like?

I hate it here

I am so physically tired - for several reasons. I can only blame myself. I know I shouldn't, but I do. Mentally, I am extremely exhausted. Fatigue, backaches, headaches, anxiety, sleepiness ... just to name a few. All I want to do is lay in my bed forever. However, I know I can't. The last … Continue reading I hate it here

I don’t look like what I’ve been through

The last 3 years, my health has not been the best. I am thankful for life. However sometimes, the pain seems so unbearable. Thursday I had an MRI of my back. It wasn't too bad but I felt mentally exhausted afterwards. I had to continually talk to myself and keep my eyes closed like my … Continue reading I don’t look like what I’ve been through

It was for a purpose

Hello! It's been a long time. So much has happened. So much has been done. So much has been accomplished, yet still so many things to still do. But I am glad to be able to say a few words because it's long overdue. 《lo-o-ong sigh》 Some of you may know by now that I … Continue reading It was for a purpose