Be there without asking questions

I’m having a bad day. No… I had a bad week which kept festering into this bad day. I did something today which I don’t normally do. I text my daughter. I try not to show my weak side to any of my children. I try. Today, I just needed to correspond with her. The sympathetic side of her knew I wasn’t ‘right’ so she called. And she did exactly what her mother would do. She gave me that soft ear to hear and listened to me. But get this… I didn’t say anything. She just listened to me without me saying a word. Sometimes, that is all we need. Just to know that someone is there … not to offer advice… not to figure out what is wrong… just be there without asking questions.

When I get in my depressive moods, I don’t want to bother anybody. I don’t want to talk to anyone. I just want to be left alone wallowing in my self-pity and agonizing thoughts of low self-esteem. Sometimes, it’s a hazardous yet safe place for me (weird huh?). Two positive things come out of this. 1. I’m alive. 2. I can still think. Whether that kind of thinking is good or bad, I can’t imagine NOT being able to think at all. Lord knows, it could be dementia or Alzheimer’s where the thought process is severely diminished. So I can count my blessings there.

When we got off of the phone, she proceeded to send me about 23 Snapchats (I counted) to cheer me up. Not only did it change the focus of my mind, I almost called her back to tell her to stop! Haha But that was the entire purpose. To distract me from my thoughts and to put a smile on my face. She succeeded!!

It is almost 2 p.m. and I have done absolutely nothing. As much as I would hate to get dressed to go out, I need to. I asked my husband if he would like to go to an early dinner. {Bad weather is heading to Birmingham tonight} Normally, I like for him to pick a spot because he is so familiar with his city. Today, I need to at least accomplish one task. My mouth is tingling for either seafood or oxtails. By the time I get in the truck, I might change my mind… and that’s cool too. As long as I can get my belly full and spend time with him, I am happy with that.

So I am going to get dressed. If I feel myself dragging, I will pull out some of my daughter’s Snapchat photos to motivate me.

Until next time… be blessed.

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